Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Tumblr Goodness: Fairy Tales for Twenty-Somethings

Classic fairy tales rewritten for tweeting, texting twenty-somethings

Yesterday, both Io9 and Flavorwire pointed us in the direction of a hilarious Tumblr blog called Fairy Tales for Twenty-Somethings, where our favorite fairy tales are facing quarter-life crises. It is my new favorite thing!

Here are a few and yes, a lot of these are not fairy tales, but they are funny, so I do not care:

Alice in Wonderland (Children's Book):
The crazy thing is that eventually even Alice began to doubt whether what she’d seen down the rabbit hole had ever really existed. And it didn’t make her sad, there was nothing overly dramatic about it, it was just that now she understood how the world actually worked.
But then she was tagged in a photo by an old friend, by the White Rabbit. It was a faded picture of her and the Cheshire Cat, and, wow, it just brought her right back.

The crazy thing is that eventually even Alice began to doubt whether what she’d seen down the rabbit hole had ever really existed. And it didn’t make her sad, there was nothing overly dramatic about it, it was just that now she understood how the world actually worked.
But then she was tagged in a photo by an old friend, by the White Rabbit. It was a faded picture of her and the Cheshire Cat, and, wow, it just brought her right back.
The Prince and the Pauper (Children's Book):

The prince and the pauper unfriended each other on Facebook because neither one could stand the other’s political status updates.
The prince and the pauper unfriended each other on Facebook because neither one could stand the other’s political status updates.

Beauty and the Beast (Traditional Fairy Tale): 
Beauty wanted to bring the Beast to meet her friends but she was nervous because they all had these super-hot boyfriends who worked in finance. She loved the Beast for who he was, she really did, but her friends were shallow and judgmental.
“Maybe you should get some new friends,” Siri advised.
 Beauty wanted to bring the Beast to meet her friends but she was nervous because they all had these super-hot boyfriends who worked in finance. She loved the Beast for who he was, she really did, but her friends were shallow and judgmental.
“Maybe you should get some new friends,” Siri advised.
 
King Arthur (Legend):
After pulling the sword from the stone but before becoming king, Arthur went on a cross-country road trip / vision quest. He crashed on friends’ couches or, on a few nights, the back seat of his car. He went to Burning Man, stayed in the mountains of Montana for a few weeks, and learned to build a cigar-box guitar from some guy on the street in New Orleans.

When he finally arrived home, a wiser man, he thought, “That shit was awesome. I gotta find a way to do that all the time.”


After pulling the sword from the stone but before becoming king, Arthur went on a cross-country road trip / vision quest. He crashed on friends’ couches or, on a few nights, the back seat of his car. He went to Burning Man, stayed in the mountains of Montana for a few weeks, and learned to build a cigar-box guitar from some guy on the street in New Orleans.
When he finally arrived home, a wiser man, he thought, “That shit was awesome. I gotta find a way to do that all the time.”

The Tortoise and the Hare (Fable):
The tortoise and the hare met for coffee. They each casually mentioned their recent successes, secretly hoping to appear better than the other. As they walked their separate ways home it hit them at the same time: There never was a race. There is no destination. There is no winner.
The tortoise and the hare met for coffee. They each casually mentioned their recent successes, secretly hoping to appear better than the other. As they walked their separate ways home it hit them at the same time: There never was a race. There is no destination. There is no winner.

Little Mermaid (Literary Fairy Tale):

the little mermaid was a human now but sometimes at an upscale party someone would say to her, “that’s a very unusual accent. where are you from?” her past haunted her. she could never escape who she used to be.


the little mermaid was a human now but sometimes at an upscale party someone would say to her, “that’s a very unusual accent. where are you from?” her past haunted her. she could never escape who she used to be.


The Ugly Ducking (Literary Fairy Tale)
the ugly duckling read obscure works of literature in other languages and listened to indie music even the guys in the record store had never heard of. if i’m not going to be prettier than anyone, she thought, i’m at least going to be better than them.

The ugly duckling read obscure works of literature in other languages and listened to indie music even the guys in the record store had never heard of. if i’m not going to be prettier than anyone, she thought, i’m at least going to be better than them.

Chicken Little (Folk Tale):

chicken little knew she was supposed to be in a good mood while out with her friends, but she just didn’t feel it. she had this certainty that something was wrong even though she couldn’t name what it was. then she started going to therapy and realized all these things about her childhood she’d never thought of in that way. she also started doing hot yoga.
chicken little knew she was supposed to be in a good mood while out with her friends, but she just didn’t feel it. she had this certainty that something was wrong even though she couldn’t name what it was. then she started going to therapy and realized all these things about her childhood she’d never thought of in that way. she also started doing hot yoga.

The Emperor's New Clothes (Literary Fairy Tale):
the emperor bought a new fedora but all his friends thought he looked really stupid in it.
 the emperor bought a new fedora but all his friends thought he looked really stupid in it.
Cinderella (Traditional Fairy Tale):
when cinderella left the ball right before midnight, the prince stood in the doorway and watched her go. “i’m so stupid,” he said to himself in bed that night. “did she want me to kiss her? maybe i should’ve kissed her. fuck, i should’ve just kissed her.”
 when cinderella left the ball right before midnight, the prince stood in the doorway and watched her go. “i’m so stupid,” he said to himself in bed that night. “did she want me to kiss her? maybe i should’ve kissed her. fuck, i should’ve just kissed her.”

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