Well, folks... I liked it. I did! It is not one of my favorite movies of all time, but it was a very interesting and visually stunning interpretation of the original story. I'm going to proceed to make fun of it and take it apart a little, but please do not forget that I liked it!
Warning: HERE THERE BE SPOILERS! I will have blatant disregard for your sensitive ears.
First, may I say, Kristin Stewart did not suck! In fact, she did some beautiful and subtle acting! She had me in her first scene where she is being inappropriately touched, but allows it to go on so she can get info from a guy. She is terrified and disgusted, but is about to escape and needs to keep him occupied to get vital info before she does. You saw all of that flash across her face, and I was like, "Ok, K. Sewart. You've got me." And she carries this throughout most of the film, though there are moments that you have no idea what she is thinking and it just becomes awkward.
Anyway, Charlize Thereon: brilliant. Thor: tiny and vulnerable and I loved him. Best dwarves: Toby Jones, Nick Frost, Brian Gleeson (adorbs), and Johnny Harris. I was a bit disappointed with Bob Hoskins, as all he did was be blind and believe in KStew.
Aw, Nick Frost....
The visuals were jaw-droppingly amazing. Swirling ravens, blood on snow, terrifying fungus induced hallucinations, lots of really disturbing dead birds, fire and battle and...fuzzy snakes. Which I will get to in a second.
I LOVED the simple back story they gave the Queen and her brother ("Brother?" you say? Yes, a brother with a very significant role. "Why did I not see him in the trailers?" I have no idea, he was fascinating.) They are possibly centuries old. They were poor and starving, and their village was attacked by a king. To protect her daughter, the queen's mother gave her (magically) the power of beauty that she could wield over men. She was abducted by the king as her village burned and she has learned never to trust men, to dominate and destroy them, and that her beauty is her power, for if she gets old, she is disposable and ignored. So, she sucks the youth out of women (one of whom is played by a remarkably human-looking Lily Cole) to keep herself young, relevant, and powerful. And since there are no pretty women around for the brother, the only way he can get his rocks off is to rape his sister's victims beforehand. yaaaaay. AND, they didn't have this back story in a final scene "I'm about to kill you, but before I do, let me tell you why I am the way that I am" monologue. It was nicely integrated into the rest of the story.
Anyway, I'm going to be a bit scattered now, and tell you things that were cool, things that were weird, and things that didn't make sense:
I do not understand why Kristin Stewart became the messiah. She had the ability to make plants grow and to heal people all of a sudden. Because she was the rightful queen and nature was so happy to have her back that it went into overdrive? Because somehow the three drops of blood on the snow was a spell that gave her rightful queen powers? And how exactly were the evil queen and she connected? Was it because their mothers both happened to spill 3 drops of blood and wish good for their children? It was not clearly explained, and thus made some of the frolicking with fuzzy animals (and moss-covered snakes, which are good snakes, as opposed to the evil black snakes in the other forest) and ethereal messiah wandering, a little strange. I thought she might start whistling while she worked after a while.
Along a similar vein, the Bright Forest was just as awkward, and a little disturbing, as I thought it was going to be, at least at first. They arrive in the "land of the fairies," and K Stew sees her magpie friends who saved her from the castle, and all of a sudden FAIRIES COME OUT OF THEIR CHESTS! It was highly disturbing. And it did not help that they looked like the cute-but-demonic aliens from
Galaxy Quest, and you knew any moment they would eat your face:
Anyway, it turned very Prince Caspian very quickly when K. Stew and her small rag tag army meet Aslan.... I mean the Forest Spirit White Stag thing... and have a very reverent moment. But all the corniness and cheese was worth it when suddenly, the White Stag gets SHOT! And the Queen's forces have invaded the one spot everyone thought was beautiful and safe. If we hadn't spent time with the Disney-ness, the impact of that moment would not have been as palpable.
Let's talk about LUUURVE. There is surprisingly little romantic love in this movie. I thought that was great. We had the Huntsman, and Snow's childhood friend, William. You got the impression that maybe they were trying to make it a struggle for you to choose which of the two men you wanted her to end up with, but honestly, it was no contest. The only real interaction you see between William and Snow are when they are children, and when he is actually the creepy Queen in disguise. And there, he comes across as kinda skeevy. Otherwise, he is pursuing her, or walking next to her. Any chemistry is lost. Thor, on the other hand, fights with her, saves her, is saved by her, and is solidly in the friend zone, and then drunkenly and adorably confesses his strong feelings (romantic love? unclear.) and compares her to his dead wife and kisses her corpse while his tears fall on her. You want him to win.
On that note, there is serious awkward happening between Huntsman and K. Stew. towards the battle, and you are not sure why. I thought maybe she remembered his drunken confession, and the kiss that woke her up, and had no idea what to do with it.
And BTW, there are several moments in the movie where they just don't let something breathe, or don't address an important element of the story. The kiss-waking is another one of those. He pours out his heart to her corpse, another woman he loved that he has failed to protect, and then kisses her and leaves. She wakes up, walks out into the courtyard, and everyone else sees her first. When he sees her, he smiles. SMILES, people. And then just kinda goes with the flow as she gives her rather Dadaist, out of nowhere pre-battle speech. A brilliant quote from the mind of Caitlin Griffin of
Drown My Books fame, it's like he is saying "Good job, you! I will process this next week!"
There are several moments that are edited strangely that don't give significant moments the weight they deserve: like the Artex-like death of the Convenient Steed that K Stew looses in the swamp. Never see his head go under, or her reaction moment of "oh, he's gone." He's just sinking, and then not there in the next shot. Or a dwarf death where you don't see the moment where he dies. Just cut to him, he is struggling, cut to her reaction shot, cut to him - OH you missed it, he's dead.
Aaaaanyhoodle, there was a prevailing theory in our group (voiced by the amazing CGriff), that K Stew's power came from her innocence. This was nicely underlined when the Huntsman tried to teach her how to fight, and she stated that she would not kill. And she doesn't for most of the movie. There is some debate as to whether she killed anyone in the (rather poorly thought out) epic battle at the end. There was some pushing, and some grunting, but it was unclear whether she had sword on flesh contact. When she rose from the dead (Zombie Princess will lead you into battle!), she said she knew how to defeat the queen. I thought it was going to be something clever, a weakness of the Queen's she would exploit. No no... she stabs her. yaaaaay. And then she stands and looks in the mirror. THAT to me, says "Oh no! She gave up her innocence, and now the whole cycle will start all over again." But it didn't say it in a strong enough way that it felt on purpose.
The coronation scene at the end of the movie was also suuuuuper awkward. K. Stew gets coronated and is looking rather uncomfortable, but then she sees a squeeky clean Huntsman (touchingly looking more like the self he wants to be, rather than the drunken self he hated), lurking awkwardly at the back of the hall. Why is he not getting rewarded, or at least in a place of honor? He deserves a end of Star Wars: A New Hope medal! Anyway, he starts to smile, and then she smiles, but then there is no cut back to him of them sharing a moment. A "yay, we survived and are friends and its all gonna be ok because you are here" moment, or even an awkward "I don't know what our relationship is, but we will figure it out later" moment. It just cuts to half way down the aisle for a painfully slow pullback out the doors. You end a movie with a solid button, like a close up on her face, smiling, then a quick, dramatic, satisfying pullback to show she is ok, the kingdom is ok, shut the hall doors THE END. Credits.
Mad props to them for keeping the entire climax of the movie under wraps, though (aside from the epic battle). And for keeping K Stew looking like she was on an adventure (dirty, messy hair), and not flawless and quaffed even though she traveled through sewers.
To sum up. The movie is flawed, yes. Are there serious plot holes? Yes. Do they not let certain moments breathe? Yes. However, it was still a visually stunning, well-acted version of the Snow White story.
Here's hoping this encourages other fairy tale movie makers to embrace the dark and gritty.
Bonus Plot Hole: Why did everyone get healed by K. Stew, and Bob Hoskins still remain blind? Our friend Mullen thinks it was too much a part of who he was now. Like in Quest for Camelot. Stretching? Probably.
The New Yorker:
Snow White: Beauty is Power (They like the film, and discuss it through the lens of past Snow Whites anc the current movie zeitgeist).
